January 2012
17 posts
“‘Were there unicorns in Eden?’ the boy asked.
‘There...”
– “Inside the Grey Derby” by Jonathan Goldstein
WatchKaylee teaches you how make a kazoo out of a Twizzler
These are some things it is sometimes nice to think about: 1. Sometimes it is nice to think of everyone you know and wonder what each one of them is doing at that exact moment, because even though it’s silly, sometimes you forget that people go on doing things even when you can’t see them, that they experience small details the same way you do. 2. Sometimes it is nice to look at an old...
Riding elevators is so weird. It’s all, “Hey, how about I get into this small metal box with all these strangers and then don’t say anything to them and instead sort of nonchalantly stare at the floor numbers?” If you were asked to get into any other small box with strangers, I would imagine it would be quite alarming, and that you would also probably say something to the...
I like that on the New York subway, they make that announcement that goes, “If you see a suspicious package, don’t keep it to yourself.” I imagine someone going, “I want this suspicious package just for me. I do not want to share it so I will not say anything to anyone.”
On subway systems and tall buildings: Isn’t it strange to think of how many people are living lives below your feet?
On the way sometimes, when you’re sad and a stranger is nice to you, it makes you want to cry: I read a book recently in which it was hypothesized that this happens because you grow depressed that only a stranger is willing to be kind to you, leading to you feel even...
I’d like to make a complementary version of Asher Roth’s “I Love College” about how much I value my education. “That lecture last class was awfully crazy I wish we’d taped it…”
Kaylee gets nerdy about history, or five facts from “Destiny of the Republic,” this lovely book I got for Christmas about James Garfield’s assassination:
1. James Garfield, who grew up in extreme poverty in Ohio, didn’t even want to run for president; he gave a great speech at the Republican Convention nominating this other guy, and he spoke so well that eventually people...
My strategy for making people think I’m from New York has mostly been to walk really fast and look like I hate everyone. It must be working at least a little bit because four people have asked me for directions this week.
Here is a thing that I learned today: the word “cliché” comes from French printing jargon. Since in early printing, letters had to be set one at a time, sometimes to save time printers would cast plates of often-used phrases that could be used repeatedly. These plates were called clichés. And since they were used again and again, the word eventually came to mean what it does today. Oh...
This is something I’ve been thinking recently: I like the whole idea of welcoming the new year. It’s like it’s a guest. Welcome, 2012! We are so glad you could make it! Please make yourself comfortable and let us know if you need anything! We hope you have an enjoyable stay!
This is something I just remembered: when I was in kindergarten, one day during recess I was wandering...
December 2011
22 posts
Here are some facts about Sigmund Freud: 1. He had an odd habit of fainting in the presence of powerful men. He fainted in front of Carl Jung twice. 2. He was forced to leave Vienna in 1938 after being interrogated by the Gestapo. He moved to London, where his wife and daughter helped him recreate, in extreme detail, the study he had left behind in Austria. 3. As he was suffering from mouth cancer...
I like going to grocery stores and seeing all that food in neat rows and colorful piles.
I like finding the world somehow different than the way I left it, like coming out of a movie theater and discovering that it’s gotten dark.
I like getting my clothes out of the dresser that’s built into the wall, because on winter mornings they’re chilled when I put them on, like...
I’m really creeped out by the song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” Can we talk about how scarring it would be if you walked in on your married mother making out with some (also married) fat, elderly guy? One that supposedly watches you sleep, no less?
Unrelated thoughts: 1. Our refrigerator is broken, so we’ve been leaving food outside to keep it cold. It’s like the world is our refrigerator, which is almost like this grand metaphor for our potential, but is closer to just being a little distressing and sad. 2. Here’s a quote from “Sherlock:” “Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity, don’t you...
Today I went to Barnes & Noble to look for a Christmas gift, and there were so many people there. I thought, “Why would you wait this long to do your Christmas shopping, Kaylee? You’re dumb.” I thought, “Why is that child crying? Why is that other child crying? Someone needs to get these crying children out of the store.” I thought, “It’s a Tuesday....
To do: 1. Find a way to turn people into outlets. I believe this will solve all my library problems, as I will be able to get all the irritating people out of the library and also put outlets by some of the carrels that should have outlets but don’t. 2. Finish reading this “Speculative List of Jay-Z’s 99 Problems” (thank you, Sarah). Favorite thus far: “Convinced that...
When I was looking up zip codes at work, I came across a street named “Spyglass Drive,” which would be a pretty badass place to live.
Once I was driving with Lucia and we found a real street called “Memory Lane.” It’s in Norridge, of all places. I think if I lived there, I would stroll down it all the time and think generally nostalgic thoughts. I would probably be a...
“In [the article] we learn that a new biography of Kurt Vonnegut...”
– From a blog entry by Neil Gaiman
(One of those nice moments where a writer I adore talks about another writer I adore)
Reasons I am unhappy that this semester’s almost over: 1. I like this semester. I like all my classes and I like the people I see and I like the general state of things. 2. Existential worrying about endings 3. Existential worrying about life passing by too quickly
Reasons I am happy that this semester’s almost over: 1. I will be done with this list of things that I need to get done....
November 2011
18 posts
In French, the word “bière” means “beer,” but it also means “coffin.” I used to find this irritating, mostly because I didn’t know bière could mean coffin when we were reading “The Stranger” in French and, as such, completely misinterpreted the whole funeral home scene. But now I’ve decided it’s actually great because it means you...
Today in the airport, I saw about a million and ten college students saying goodbye to their parents and going back to school. “You are not special, Kaylee,” I said. “You are a college student cliché.”
Then I said, “Stop talking to yourself, this is an airport, people can hear you.”
On the plane I ordered Doctor Pepper, because things with “Doctor”...
“This lead to controversy in 1939 -1941 with FDR proclaiming the third Thursday...”
– Excerpt from a history of Thanksgiving
Seriously, Texas?
Last night my school had this event called the Voyage, which was an outer space themed concert/dance. I didn’t go because it involved paying a lot of money to be really close to people, but I almost wish I did because I could have moonwalked all the way there, douche-ily quoted Neil Armstrong every time I took a step, and said things like, “Hey, I’m Soviet, I’ll race you...
“Moreover, Browning’s irritating tendency to punctuate already distressing...”
– Making lame jokes to myself in my homework. Again. Congratulating myself. Again.
In social psych
Professor: ...and they found that the group that had contact with a gun for 15 minutes showed higher levels of aggression than the group that had contact with the game Mouse Trap for 15 minutes.
Guy: That surprises me based on how frustrating the game Mouse Trap is.
